Minding you

I’m trying to remember how
everything fell into place
so easily, like a puzzle for children
as obvious as squares and circles
or green frogs and blue monsters.

Now in my mind your face is scumbled,
edges blurred into the background,
a photograph shot in front of floral curtains
the lamp from IKEA, a door standing open,
your heart shut tight even then.

This can’t be the way only I recall it,
there were too many passing moments
like clarity, jolts of harmony, yes, love,
magnetic and electric whirling sand
around our feet, into our eyes and ears.

I’m looking through the wrong end,
binoculars perverted or perverse,
nothing makes sense and I ache
all over again, not knowing where
to put my hands, not knowing why.